Hands Held High
Today’s song is “Leave Out All The Rest” by Linkin Park:
For the longest time, one of my most prominent fears is leaving this world having accomplished nothing. Without having touched somebody’s life (hopefully more than one) … with no one really caring that I’ve gone and then having to try and explain to St. Peter when I’m at the pearly gates why my name doesn’t appear in his book. Why I spent all of my life worrying more about obtaining things rather than spending it with those that I love and making everlasting experiences for everyone. Why I never reached out to those that needed help … or tried harder to help myself. Why I became the person that I told myself for years I wouldn’t become. Why my life was seemingly meaningless and unimportant because I lived it for the wrong reasons.
That’s why I choose to not sleep sometimes. Because it’s rare that my dreams are ones that I’d want to be having. Nine times out of ten, my dreams are ridiculously realistic nightmares playing on my greatest fears. The subconscious is a strange thing.
Do or do not, there is no try.
These feelings seem to be getting less and less evident as the days go on (at least lately) … which I give credit to various things and events that have occured in the past month or so. I think my three greatest fears (in no particular order) would be: turning into my father (which would probably destroy me if i realized i had), living a pointless life, and forgetting my mom. There are a few others that could be in the top of the list but those three are the ones that seem to cross my mind day in and day out. It’s funny to me in some ways, because it feels like my fears are quite a bit more particular than the “standard ones” (like dying, spiders, height [which i do have a problem with but not in the same magnitude], commitment, public criticism, etc).
The problem with being Democrat is that if you vote for Obama, you’re sexist. And if you vote for Hilary, you’re racist. It’s easy being a Republican. No matter what you’re retarded.
being strangely happy and happily strange,
-josh
I am not retarded!!
Glad everything is looking up! It’s good to see you happy.