Kids These Years

So classes start tomorrow … and I’m not sure whether I’m looking forward to actually doing something with my life again or dreading the fact that I’m going to actually have to wake up in the mornings (especially tomorrow). A part of me would be content doing absolutely nothing for the rest of my life … possibly because of everything that’s happened in the past 6 months or so … or maybe I’m just obscenely lazy. Who knows. My schedule isn’t too bad … especially on Tuesdays because I only have one class … I would prefer if it wasn’t at 8 in the morning, but I guess we can’t ask for everything now can we?

If feel kind of empty on the inside now … like I’m no longer the person I once was. I see very little happiness in the world these days … making it that much harder to fake a smile for whomever happens to be around me. I find myself wallowing in my own heap of turmoil and sadness too often … so eager to find others to hang around … and yet so depressed that I could care less. Maybe a new school year will be bring new hope for happiness … hope of breaking the cycle of pain … all there is left is hope.

Saying I feel lost is the definition of an understatement …