Mother’s Day
So today was the everso popular Mother’s Day. A day meant to be grateful and cherish everything our mothers have done for us throughout the years. My sister and I decided to go to New Tazewell, TN to my grandma’s house (where my mom is buried) yesterday and come back today. I hadn’t been back there since the funeral, so I hadn’t even seen her grave yet. I had almost been avoiding it purposely for some time now. We went to church this morning (the graveyard is connected to the church) and saw the grave before we went in. It was really weird. As I looked down my mind just took me to the funeral when her coffin was being lowered into the ground. That’s all I could see. I lived most of today in my head, with my eyes wide open experiencing the past as if it were happening right then. We then go inside and sit down, and about five minutes after I sit down I realize that I’m sitting in the exact same spot I was during the funeral service. Everytime I look up, for a split second part of me sees her coffin sitting right where the alter is. If I wasn’t already close enough as it was this just got me crying like a baby. My grandma hadn’t even thought about it until it was obviously too late. I was afraid we’d have to leave but I managed to pull myself together and withstand a two hour service without going insane.
It was a hard, weird, awkward, out-of-body experience kind of day. Plus a three and a half hour drive home by myself left a lot of time for reflection and crying. I guess it was needed … I guess in the grand scheme of things it was time that I did it. Doesn’t make it any easier or more profound.
To keep my mind off it I took a few pictures while I was driving home. My grandma lives in the mountains … it takes about an hour to get back to the paved road… good times.
I am so glad you went. and I am glad your sister went too. I know was hard but it good for you to go and have a day of reflection.
and those pictures are beautiful, I really like it up there.