Breathing
Song of the day is “Work” by Jars of Clay (surprise surprise!)
yes, i realize he resembles Snape in this video, it is a bit odd 
I have no fear of drowning
It’s the breathing that’s taking all this work.
Sometimes life really does feel that way (for me at least). There have been times when it seems like it’s harder to get out of bed and live the day than it would to …. well, the best way to phrase this is … not. I admit, I was a huge rut there for the longest time. There are moments (no longer days) where I feel that way. It of course, goes further than just getting out of bed, but that’s the least revealing metaphor I can come up with right now.
Do you know what I mean when I say, “I don’t want to be alone”?
There are many different ways a person can “feel alone.” Being alone spiritually, not being around your friends as much, being really distant with (nearly all) of your family, and not having that special person around to make you feel so very good inside. In some form, I’ve gone through (or still am) all of those to some degree. Lately it seems things are getting better for various reasons. Or maybe my outlook has just changed a little. For some reason the 1 year “anniversary” of my mom passing didn’t really hit me as hard as I had expected, but in some ways it seems like either she, God, or just myself in some way or another lifted a weight of my shoulders and allowed me to “move on” more so than I’d ever been able to for that entire year. It’s been nearly a month since that day, but looking back I can tell. She still comes into my mind at least every day, which is (really) good to me. But I’m no longer dwelling on it as much as I used to, at least in a bad way. Other people have come (or reappeared) into my life, helping me find happiness and bliss once again. In many ways I have to see all of this happening as a (really delayed…) answer to countless prayers. A lot of things, feelings, events, etc that have happened in the past month couldn’t have been put together by shear chance or circumstance. At least I sincerely doubt it could. Either way doesn’t change the present from being what it is; grand.
Proverbs
Let not mercy and truth forsake thee bind them about thy necks; write them upon the table of thine heart.
Proverbs 3:3
Proverbs and/or Song of Songs would probably be my favorite books in the Bible. I always seem to find scripture directly relating to things I’m currently struggling with or worrying about …
Dear Friend, if bad companions tempt you, don’t go along with them.
Proverbs 1:10
When you grab all you can get, that’s what happens: the more you get, the less you are.
Proverbs 1:19
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
Proverbs 10:12
Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will son wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this; He will make your righteousness shine like the sawn, the just ice of your cuase like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil. Fro evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit their land.
Psalm 37:1-9
And for another Jars of Clay song, Dig … possibly the prettiest song I’ve heard them sing and my overall favorite Jars of Clay song (my favorite of favorites 
).
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.
Psalm 61:1-3
(that last one also gives way to a Kutless song named Strong Tower)
letting the sun shine through,
-josh
Jars of Clay
Jars of Clay is probably my favorite band … ever. The vocals are just perfect, and so real. Too many bands these days suck live because they synthesize every part of their “sound” … Jars of Clay, on the other hand, sounds just about the same live as they do on their CD 
Two of my favorite (or currently favorite) songs would probably be Sunny Days and Lonely People. The lyrics are just as nice as the vocals … so read and figure it out